Kenny's British
by GamerErman2001
Summary: Eric discovers that Kenny is British and sets out to kill Kenny.


Kenny's British

(A normal day in the town of South Park, Eric, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are at Stan's house playing Go Fish.)  
Eric : Does anyone have any 7's?  
Stan: Go fish.  
Kyle: Go fish.  
Kenny: (muffle muffle)  
Kyle: Kenny, could you please take your hood off?  
Eric: Yeah! What the fucking Jew said!  
Kyle: Racist fuck.  
Stan: Can we just fucking go on with this fucking game?  
Kenny: (pulls off his Parka's hood) Oh I do say, you bloody Americans do use too much foul language.  
Stan: Kenny's British?  
Kenny: Why should that matter jolly good fellow?  
Kyle: Dude! British people rule! Haven't you ever seen that sketch comedy about the flying circus? British people are hilarious!  
Eric: Now hang on! British people SUCK! They suck DICK! They are not funny! They are pompous fucking piles of shit!  
Kenny: Excuse me sir? I've tried to tell you this several times, but you are a bloody wanker.  
(Stan and Kyle giggle immaturely.)  
Eric: What the bloody hell is a wanker? Kenny's speech doesn't even make any goddamn sense now! That's it... we have to kill Kenny.  
Stan: Hell no, we can't kill Kenny.  
Kyle: That's right! I'm glad to have another minority in our group of friends!  
Kenny: Also, I've bloody died every week of my life. Haven't I died enough times already?  
Eric: Hell no! Brits can never die enough times!  
Stan: Eric, just shut up or leave.  
Eric: OK!....  
Stan: Got any 6's?  
Eric: No! You're supposed to leave! Along with the Jew and the Britfag!  
Stan:No. You leave.  
Eric: Why the fuck should I leave?  
Stan: This is my house.  
Eric: GODDAMMIT!!! (leaves)  
(Eric Cartman's room. Butters and Eric are together yet again.)  
Eric: Good evening Butters. Thanks for coming again.  
Butters: Sure thing Cartman! Your mother is so swell! She's not like my parents! My parents beat me up all the time! Oh but then again, I do deserve it.  
Eric: I called you over for a reason Butters.  
Butters: What's that?  
Eric: I recently found out that Kenny is a limey pile of shit.  
Butters: What?  
Eric: Uh... GODDAMMIT BUTTERS. Why must you be so retarded to not even know what limey means?... OK... BRITISH pile of shit.  
Butters: Oh OK!  
Eric: So... I need a way to kill Kenny. Preferably one that's a cheap laugh but isn't too similar to last week's death.  
Butters: And what was that?  
Eric: His PSP transformed into a mutant and tore his limbs off.  
Butters: OK... Hey wait a minute! You can't kill someone for being British!  
Eric: Remember our agreement?  
Butters: Let me think... no, not really.  
Eric: You signed it three weeks ago.  
Butters: But that's ages ago!  
Eric: *pulls it out* Read it Butters.  
Butters: Oh, OK. "Eric Cartman is my God. I shall follow him forever. I shall do everything he asks of me. And if we actually do turn out gay, I shall totally be uke for him, because he is totally sweet."  
Eric: Sweet.  
Butters: Well... he's poor and hungry. What if we overfed him?  
Eric: And I know the perfect food.  
(The next day Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are walking down the street when they meet Butters and Eric.)  
Eric: Hey Kenny! We brought you a bunch of food! About twenty pounds!  
Kenny: WOOHOO! I hope it's some crumpets! *Opens bag* Oh I guess not. I'll eat this anyway! Thanks, jolly good fellow.  
Kyle: Dude! Cartman! You've changed quickly! I've never seen you do anything this cool!  
Stan: Yeah! This is the best thing you've ever done to Kenny!  
Eric: Thanks! I can be your friend again?  
Kyle: Hell yeah!  
Eric: Sweet.  
Stan: Wait... is that Chipotle?  
Eric: That's the best part. It IS Chipotle.  
Kenny: I do say, I feel like crapping my pants. (He shits his pants. Blood and shit goes all over the place. He dies because no man was ever made to shit so much.)  
Kyle: OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY!  
Stan: YOU FAT BASTARD!  
Kyle: Wait a minute, why does Kenny have a British accent this week when that one time he went back to Hell he talked in an American accent?  
Stan: Why does a new Kenny pop up every week?  
*New Kenny pops up*  
Kyle: Hello new Kenny!  
New Kenny: Hola senor! Me gusta taco y burrito!  
Eric: GODDAMMIT  
(the end)


End file.
